ZAA – The Aethyr of Solitude

The fortunate or unfortunate aspect of ZAA is that, with respect to one’s solitude or principal alone-ness, it isn’t treated as a mere intellectual exercise. Rather, one is forced to confront a profound alienation from all quadrants. This can be painful. Indeed it is, but on the plus side, it leaves no room for doubt. You will find yourself completely alone in the world. This, of course, is my current experience. While your mileage may vary, somehow I doubt it will vary that much.

There are a few options.

One may attempt to find new friends, love interests, people who really get them. This seems to only make matters worse. While my old friends and lovers and whatever may not, it turns out, really know me all that well, they’ve at least not-known me long enough to have established trust. Trust is something. It does not seem any new acquaintances will know me all that better, and being that they are new, the trust component is completely absent.

One may succumb to sadness and despair, though I can’t see what good that could possibly do.

No. The only way out is through. I am on my own. Then again, such has always been the case from womb to tomb. With this comes not only the acceptance of this on an emotional and intellectual level, but a practical grounding and change of perspective and orientation. Self-centeredness within the universe. With the self as the center and not, say, the maintenance of appearances, adherence to old standards that no longer make any sense, promises that have long outlived their usefulness, and so on, one is free. The process of undoing that however, is painful, sure. It is also “not nice”. The phrase “you’ve changed” comes up a bit. One certainly does change when they realize that once stripped of everything they have to offer others, they will be left to fend for themselves. All bets are off. You are on your own just as you always were.

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